But, anyway... Moving on. Her 1st pic... I still have that in my cell. In fact, I have every single pic in my cell, that she sent me over these 3 years. Lucky that I get to see her now n then. Then there is the 3rd Anniversary of being a couple, officially. 'Officially' - 'coz we were already a couple, much before 26th May 2008. We were already calling each other Hubby n wifey. :-3 But we truly confessed on 26th. So, that's our love anniversary. That morning, she woke me up with a kiss. Over the phone, of-course.

This weekend I planned to write a 3 episode blog-book on my relation with her. 3 episodes encompassing 3 stages of our relation. Even took out pen paper to start the 1st episode. But realized that I don't have enough research material to draw the picture perfectly. All those were in my computer, of which, I have the Hard-drive left. So, I guess I'll have to wait till I buy that Laptop. Watch this space. Till then, you can read my last blog-book - "Marriage NOT made in heaven".

Well, the 2 kids are born and Sho is perfectly in good health. Theirs is one happy family. They have 2 teams in their family. One consists of Sho & Tutu and the other is of Vic & Tweetu. Both Sho & Vic loved both their children a lot but for Vic, Tweetu is his life, his little angel, his little princess. And, this little princess is no less. She’d follow her papa all around the house and cry on top of her voice until he takes her in his arms.

Tweetu is only 3 yrs old. But, daddy dearest is so worried about her that he doesn’t let even a small little boy to come anywhere around her! “ladke toh bachpan se hi kamine hote hain,pata he, sho! Kamino ko meri angel ke aas paas bhi nahi aane dunga"! Huh! Now this is too much!

Sho- fir tum mere paas kyun aaye?

Vic-‘coz I love you.

Sho-tweetu ko bhi to koi love karega naa?

Vic-nope! I don’t trust anyone.

Sho-come on now..anyways,she is too small.

Vic-but still, I’ll always be with her!

Sho-in that case ,tumhe mere paas bhi nahi aana tha.

Vic -tumhari baat alag he…tweetu meri daughter he. My angel.

Sho-yeah right! main toh upar se tapki hun, I’m no one’s daughter…

Vic- whatever. I don’t know anything!

This is how they always fight. Every night Vic takes his little angel in his arms, sings her a song and roam around in the whole house until she is asleep. Spoilt girl ,huh! Tutu is such a sweet child , he never harasses Sho…he just quietly goes off to sleep.

Life is still very much same for Vic and Sho. Every night he’d take her in his arms, hug her tight and give her hundreds of passionate kisses. He loves to run his fingers through her hair.. smell her and cuddle her. They’d so passionately look into each other eyes and make amazing love like the very first time. She considers her self so so lucky to have found a soul mate like Vic. She’d rest her head on his chest and only then go off to sleep.

Vic’s b’day was coming up and Sho had started making preparations a month before his b’day. She wants his b’day to be the most memorable and special one ever! But, something was wrong somewhere! Vic wasn’t looking very much interested in her and their kids like before! Or rather she thought so! She had come to know that he had some other woman in his life..and he was very happy with her! All this hurt her very badly. Every time she’d confront him , he’d flatly deny.

She tried everything but no avail. She could see her family ruining right in front of her eyes but was helpless! She decided to leave him, not “dump” him or something but to let him go to someone he loved and with whom he‘d be happy all his life. Sho always loved him, loves him and will always love him. But, may be he never loved her that much.

Sho is still alive, not dead but Vic is gone for ever…leaving her amid the journey of life. It’s sleeping time for Tweetu….she is crying but her papa is not there to take her in his arms…your little angel is crying, Vic…

April Fools' Day is the most appropriate day for this type of confession. U have the opportunity to pour your heart out before the one you love. Approach her with your normal or slightly serious face, start a normal conversation and then say "I wanted to tell you something for quite some days now" Then start saying your 'Dil ki baat'. Say everything that you always wanted to tell her, express every lovely feeling in your heart - like there's no tomorrow. Maintain an eye-contact through out. When you are finished, look deep into her eyes - as if you're looking for an answer there. Now, if she has the same feelings for you - then Bingo. You just won your love. And if she goes - "Mmmmm, I .... but .... never thought .... You ..... I already .... we're good friends" [subtle] or "How dare you? Have u seen a mirror" [angry] - pull the "April Fool" card. Start laughing like Jim Carrey, act as if you've pulled the biggest gag of the year. To the point that she starts feeling embarrassed. Then just walk away. You did your best. You'll feel lighter now.

Caution : This trick might back fire if you don't take proper caution. She might be aware of this 'April Fool' trick and may play along. That is, she might also start saying "Oh, I also love you very much" and stuff. Don't get carried away. She might just turn the table and the joke will be on you - people laughing on you n 'your love'. Test her a bit more. Ask her out for a dinner and if she agrees, reach there late. Let her wait for you so that she can't land there with a bunch of friends to have a laugh at you.

Bonus :

The best love confession scenes that brings tears to my eyes every single time I watch them. I heart goes out to all of you who are in the similar kind of situation.

Another mention worthy scene is from KANK, the train station scene where Dev tells Maya "I love you Maya, and you love me too”

This is the tip for the day. I'll come again with more useful tip for you on the same issue. Don't feel lonely till then. I'm just a 'comment' away. Leave your views and feelings on this as a comment here. Or, if personal, use the contact form or Mail Me. I'll get back to you asap. Celebrate your own V-Day today. Cheers.

The day was riddled with some more mess ups. We didn't get the tickets at Inox, so had to settle for Rex. Then CCD and Barista was house full. So, had to grab our cuppa coffee from 'Nescafe' outlet. McDonald's was canceled. :@ Anyways, even amidst all these blunders - the pretty little walks n talks are most memorable. Sometimes it seems many years have passed since that day. And sometimes, it seems to be just yesterday's story. What makes it more special is the fact that it's not gonna happen ever again. :k There can't be another '1st Time'. And, now that SS has moved to USA, there won't be a 'walk n talk'.

More Flashback

I remember my childhood B'days. Every morning after my B'days, I used to get up very early to see my gifts. Once I got a toy machine-gun. Another year, it was a wrist watch. I was so childish then to tell point blank - "Dad, this is a ladies watch." :( In my early teen, when I had my 1st crush, I called her up on my B'day to hear some nice words from her. :$ I never revealed my B'day in college [except for very close friends] fearing the 'birthday bumps' which is an ass kicking 'ritual'. So, the wishes I received on my B'day were always low. I really didn't care about that. All I cared about was that one call from Sowmya. Every B'day, I used to wait for her call. She used to call just out of courtsey - but who cared. I was blind. 4th n last year of college - we had a 'break-up'. So, no call from her. But that was compensated by Sneha bhabi's call. That was a funny day. And the '07 th was the most memorable as I told in last chapter.

Orkut Blues

Orkut was voted the 'Youth Icon 2007' and very aptly so. Nothing has gripped the nation as amazingly as Orkut. [mmm, maybe except for cellphones]. There's never a day when I don't check my scrapbook. [mmmm, :p except for weekends when I usually don't have net access]. One very useful feature of this Orkut was the B'day notifier. Even if you forget your friends' B'day, it's displayed on your homepage. So, you save yourself from the embarrassing 'Sorry I forgot / missed' situation. Orkut was a real helper in this regard.

But today, I'm a little angry on this same feature. Whenever someone is wishing me 'Happy Birthday' - I can't help thinking - did they really remember my B'day or did they saw it on Orkut? Surely more n more wishes are pouring in, thnx to Orkut. I love receiving calls n msgs n stuff. So, not complaining about Orkut there. But the feeling of - 'did they really remember?' is a spoil sport. :(

Maybe I'm being a little hypocrite. Orkut B'day notification is good when it aids me and is bad when it helps others on my B'day....!! That's not fare, is it? I myself can't remember all my friends' B'days. But I do try to catch up with these. Like the last time I posted this B'day Countdown and this one. And they are not just my 'near n dear' friends. Some of them are just acquaintances. Still, I just try to make their B'day a little more special for them in my own little way. And, the word here is not Orkut.

Early Wishes

1st call I received was from Sis - dot at midnight. Bro missed. Got call from home this morning. Another call at night was from Rajan. SS did call this morning. That was a pleasant surprise. My 1st international call. :) I thought she might've forgot. But she didn't. Talked to her after almost half a year. Orkut scrapbook is seeing a constant flow of 'wish' scraps at regular interval. Ria sent a lovely mail - where she wrote a poem for me. So nice. And oh, Sneha called. She couldn't keep her promise on New Year's. But she did manage to call this time.

The Lunch

This was a big disappointment. All but one of my friends in office are in night shift today. So, the grand lunch party was ruled out. And the only one in office preferred to lunch with DC gang. Well, he isn't aware of my B'day. Probably he hasn't logged into Orkut till now. But what difference does it make? He preferred my enemy over me. Great B'day gift, huh?

I had my lunch alone @ nearby Krishna Cafe. And what a lunch it was. When I asked for the menu, the waiter looked at me in such a way as if I've violated his religion. I had to settle for shitty south Indian meal. That too, at double the usual cost. Crap.

Rest of Office-Time

Rest of the day in office was pretty gloomy. Nothing much to do and nothing special happened. Around snack-time, the 'news' broke in the team, via Orkut. That's when some team-mates wished me 'happy Birthday'. Nothing much after that. Am now just wrapping up work here. Will fetch a cake on my way home. A little party at home.

Rest of the Day

I couldn't fetch a cake on my way back home. But my room-mates managed to find one. I had ordered pizzas for everyone. So, there was a little cake-cutting ceremony, followed by pizza hogging. Got a nice snazzy diary as a gift, a very apt gift for me. If you donno, I write diary since my school days. They are a real stress buster and your closest friend when U really need a shoulder. U can say - this blog is my online diary. :)

Anyways, we then watched 'Evan Almighty'; so-so movie. Sneha had sent some beautiful msgs, to wish me for the last time for the day. A big party is waiting this weekend, when all my friends will be free. For the time being, that was the wrap-up of my B'day.

Sum it all up

So, all in all, how was the day? If numbers are anything to go by, this year I received the most number of wishes. But still there's a hollow feeling. Didn't get a call from dad. :( And even Ria was offline whole day. Couldn't reach her even for a second. :k Didn't have her number, else I would've called her. And most of the day I was gloomy. So, to sum it all up, it wasn't that good a B'day. '07 is still the best.

The song in question is - देखिये किस कदर हमको तुमसे प्यार है, from the movie - मेरे जीवन साथी, starring Akshay Kumar, Amisha Patel and Karishma Kapoor. Listen to the song below -

Check out the lyrics -

When I had watched this movie, it had left an impact on my mind eventhough the movie wasn't that good. The climax was brilliantly shot. Specially, Akshay emoted so well in those final scenes, that I just felt like him, felt his pain.

If you haven't seen the movie, this is what happened in it -
Karishma is the boss of the company in which Akshay works. Karishma loves Akshay, but he is already engaged to Amisha. Still, Karishma tries too woo him; sometimes typically crossing the limits of tolerance. She did love him from the core of her heart. But when she realized that she can never have him, she ends her life. The climax scene - Karishma is dying and Akshay & Amisha are there - helpless at the realization that it's too late. Akshay completely breaks down and cries hysterically. The guilt of causing someone's death has taken him over.

I haven't seen such touching love-suicide scene in any movie. We all love our life more than anything. But sometimes there's another love which is greater than this. We try to achieve it at any cost; but when we fail, it's not only the beloved that we loose. We loose the love for own life. That's when we think of ending own life.

Very lucky are those whom someone loves. Luckier are those, for whom their beloved can lay down own life. But if they really do, that's the most painful experience. It's more than a heart-break. Someone gave his / her life for you - can anything be more traumatizing than that?

Had gone home for Diwali. Just before leaving, we were given a huge box of crackers from office as Diwali gift. Sadly, can't take it home, as they can't be carried in flight. Indigo flight from B'lore to Calcutta was a breeze. Had plans to meet a friend there. But seems that friend wasn't that interested in meeting a 'stranger'. ;) Thereafter, reaching RPH was hell lot of a problem. The train which usually takes 4 hours to reach RPH, took 7 hours; and I reached home at 10 PM. :@

Stay at home wasn't that great though. Had nothing to do and school friends were not there at RPH at that time. So, was pretty much locked up at home. Diwali day was fun. Lighting up the Diya s felt so good, just like the childhood days. Meeting up uncles and aunties after so many days was thrilling. So much so that, I just didn't feel like coming back to B'lore. But I had to.

Return journey was another case. It's quite complicated. I took a train from RPH to Burdwan, then from there to New Delhi. Allahabad, Kanpur, Aligarh, cities I've heard of but never been to, were en route. Reached Delhi at 10PM. Now, I needed to go to domestic airport. But I was kind of scared about night life of Delhi; I mean life on road. I was told that it's quite dangerous to travel in Delhi at nights because of loots, robbery, murder et al. So, I was unsure how to reach Airport. Anyway, I took a prepaid auto. And for the first time, tested the cold in Delhi. I was shaking from head to toe in the auto. When it stopped for refilling at a gas station, I drew out some warm pull-overs from my trolley and saved myself. :D

My flight from Delhi was at 0520 hrs. So, had to wait for 6 hrs at the airport. And, the GoAir flight wasn't good either. Though their ground staff is best in the industry [ in the sense, good looking ;) ], on-board staff is total turn-off. Anyways, I took some snaps from my window. But they didn't come out well. :( Reached B'lore at 11. Headed straight to office after freshening up at home. But didn't get a warm welcome. Rather, I was thrashed by manager for not informing him of my late arrival.

Since that day, I'm in a soup; am under constant watch. Blogger, Orkut, GTalk - everything is barred for me; eventhough everyone else is using them. Anyways, I guess I need to prove myself first here. Bring it on.

This morning, I just hit upon the idea of browsing my site of interests on my mobile. So, downloaded Opera mini and hit the small highway of www. Browsed all of 'em on my w810i. Using GTalk application of ebuddy. Interface is not that good, but is working for me for the time being. Checked my own blog. It doesn't look this good there, but yep, it's not bad either. Felt good about that. Opened Orkut also. But sadly, can't read scraps there. :( When I closed my browser, my account was down by 10bucks. Hmmm. Will be careful from the next time.

And, finally - the big event is here again. BarCamp Bangalore 5 [BCB5] - winter edition. It's happening this weekend. And, I'll surely be there. Can't afford to miss it after being there on BCB4. So, see you there.

The first blow took me completely off-guard. Won't write about it here in detail as he/she forbed me to do so. The crux is - One of my closest friend is miffed by something I did but won't tell me what it is. He/She made it clear that he/she is dead angry but won't let me know "about what?" - leave alone letting me clear the air. With this grudge between us - I wonder how long 'WE' is gonna survive. Do I feel something being torn away from me.....??? :k

Towards the eve - this grief almost doubled up. I forgot to lock my PC before going for a coffee. One friend of mine pinged me on GTalk and my colleague took advantage of the situation. When I was back at the desk, he was just setting up to respond something to him/her which surely wasn't nice. As I ran to stop him, all other colleagues around there caught hold of me and pulled me back. Only pinning me down to the ground was left. Meanwhile, that 1st colleague sent his msg to my friend on GTalk. Others left me as the 'damage was done'. All people around me had this devilish smirk on their faces. They were basking on the cheap pleasure achieved out of this. I immediately pinged him/her back that it wasn't me but my colleague who sent the last msg. But he/she refused to believe.

Great, now even he/she doesn't trust me. I was already heavy with existing loads. Already had lost the closest friend this morning [well - almost]. This one was the last nail on the coffin. I felt like tearing apart everyone around me. :@ When they were holding me back, I had this terrible urge to punch one of them [within my fist's reach] hard on the face. I was gonna curse them in worst possible language. MC BC et al. But then no one would have seen that they are at the wrong end. They would've reacted as if I've done something unsocial. :o All will say that I don't have manners, am a foul mouth, not a team-player, high-handed, blah blah blah. I was so damn irritated that I was gonna log-out and head home that very moment. But then, this friend of mine [who had pinged me on GTalk] mellowed down a bit and continued chatting. Even though he/she didn't fully trust my clarification, guess he/she didn't give the incident undue attention. Thanks for that.

Nonetheless, this last experience was so damn frustrating. There's always a certain limit in every relation that should never be crossed. And my colleagues come friends did just that this evening. You're pulling my leg - that's ok. But if you are abusing my close-ones by impersonating me - that is just not tolerable. Think about it. U r not just pulling out a joke. U r ruining a relationship. And you have no right to do that.

He was supposed to be back in 2 weeks; 3 at max. But even after 50 days - there was neither a sign of him or the money. My fears were taking shape. Only silver lining was that his cellphone was still active. He kept assuring me that he'll be back soon. But he was just bull-shitting us. Later he tweaked it a bit and started saying that he'll be back soon or will transfer the money to my account. Another bull-shit. It's been 4 months now - no money.

People fear cops more than they fear criminals

Been trying hard to bring him to docs. But there are some dampeners. I don't have his Mumbai home address, home phone number, photo, employee id number - nothing. :# So, there's no way to track him on my own. His cellphone is the only connection - which he can turn-off any moment. Only thing that could help me here are the cops. But the kind of reputation they've got - I doubt whether they'll even listen to me. I had pondered on the idea of lodging a FIR against him. But friends told me that they won't put even a single word of mine on record and will shoo me away. People fear cops more than they fear criminals. What world we are living in...!!! :x

In ideal situation, Vishal can be nabbed in no more than 2 days. His details can be obtained from his Mphasis office, and he can be traced down by his active mobile and caught. But all these needs cop action. Neither will the Mphasis give me its employee's details nor will vodafone engage a mobile trace on him on my request. Cops can do all these pretty fast and easily. But will they work on my case? I doubt it. Seen a Bangalore City Police website this morning. Thought of submitting my case there. But then again .... involving cops .... I've got to think it over. BTW, does that site have any weightage?

Guess I'm in a hopeless situation and the return of my money is at total mercy of this jerk. Thought of selling off his bike. But with no key and no paper and the bike under land-lords 'protection' - things are a bit gloomy. All these 'coz I trusted a friend. Who do you trust then? All the world's an enemy...

Have you got any ideas for me? What do I do? If you've got any bright ideas that can bring Vishal to docs - I'd be delighted to know it. If you are a cop reading this - would u please see to it that I get justice? And cop uncle, please don't try to teach me a lesson instead. I'm too afraid of that.

Had enough...?? This is just one of the things that I tackled today. There are couple of other things that pained me today. Check 'em here.

Now when I look back at my life so far, I realize how blessed I've been to get those few great teachers. The 1st one who comes to my mind is the headmaster of my kindergarten school. He had spotted something special in me and took special care of me. Mom says the 1st thing I used to do after returning from school was doing my home-work. Guess I was a good student then. I don't really remember much of these. But there's one incident that I still remember as if it had happened just yesterday. It was after I had finished my kindergarten. One day that head master came to meet me at home and told papa "He's a special child. Take special care of him. He'll make it really big someday". Papa was so proud of me that day and so was I. I was bluntly telling everybody that day what he had said.

My next experience with teachers wasn't this pleasant though. I was in class 3 and there was this bully in my class but I didn't pay him much hid. One day he threatened one boy in the class to do as he says or else .... That other boy suddenly stood up in mid class, clutching his stomach and said "Sir, Bikram just punched me hard in stomach". That teacher was a relative of this boy. He just thrashed me for a long time, not listening to a single word I said. By the time he let go off me, I was all bright red - head to toe, as if I'll start bleeding any moment. On my way back home, curious onlookers made me feel sick. Everybody's 1st impression was obviously 'punished for some unforgivable mischief'. Through their eyes, I saw myself as a criminal. I kept running on road, shaking, till I reached home and broke down in tears. Mom went numb on seeing me and papa immediately rushed me to a hospital. A case was filed against that teacher. But he wasn't even questioned by police. He was let go. They said 'he just did his duty. Corporal punishment is a part of school life'. That was when I started hating the word 'teacher'.

Now a days, there's one or the other news of harsh corporal punishment every other day. Most people just skip such news, turning a blind eye. But ask someone who's been through it. Whenever there's one such news, I still feel the tearing sensation of canes raining on my skin. WCD is proposing some strict rules against such barbarism. Some people are opposing it saying 'that will ruin the tender relation between teachers and their pupils'. But what have they got to say about the total mental break down of a child thrashed in the name of punishment?


And now I'm all boiling up again. I actually wanted to write some nice memorable interactions with my teachers; about how Jeevan sir was like a father figure for me, and how sorry I was when I had compelled Vishwas sir to shout at me in mid class and later apologize for no mistake of his. But now that I remembered my class 3 incident, my mood is ruined. Just want to wrap up and grab some coffee. Will tell you the rest some other day.

Most war mongers are taking me to be a cow. Every time any of them is biting the dust, they pick up a fight with me, with no solid reason; just to appease own Manhood Ego. They believe I wont argue & shout much, so they can shout at me and manhandle me and WIN war on me. The worst part of it is that some among these breed are my own dear friends. I try my best not to get involved but sometimes they do cross the limit; and that's when I erupt.

There's been 2 such incidents in past few months. In both cases, those two people apologized to me later - realizing I was at no fault. We are still friends. But the memory of that incident is still erect like a wall between us.

This makes me ponder, is remaining calm worth it in the first place.....!!!! Just 2 days back, my flat mate was showering his anger on me, acting as if he is the BOSS and he'll decide what I should do and what I shouldn't. I had answers to each and every attack of him. But I couldn't expect that spoilt brat to understand logically. So I remained calm while he was throwing tantrum all over the place. He doused after some time and within evening, was talking to me as if nothing had happened. Things could've gone very bad that day - snowballing into someone moving out of the flat. But that didn't happen as I didn't participate in the fight. This realization
do give me a nice feeling. But the flip side is that maybe I am harming my own reputation. No one's gonna say that "Vicky handled the situation well and averted something much worse". All they will say is "He is a coward."

No matter what Munnabhai says about Gandhigiri, I am feeling that these things hold no value in today's world. If U stoop, everyone is gonna trample you.

A brick for a brick is the mantra of today's world.

Me, a software engineering graduate, AM saying that not everything is Dependant on your actions. The world is a stage and your day to day life is a wild game of LUCK. And when the luck is not in your fever, or worse, against you - no matter what you do, you're gonna end up with your face smashed against the floor.

If someone would have said these things to me a month ago, I would've branded him religious fanatic. But what I am going through for the past three months, makes me believe - BELIEVE in LUCK. I've been hunting for jobs and rarely getting some calls - due to my poor network. And the few calls I've been receiving - I always ended up getting dropped at the final round, which usually is - HR round. I believed 'it's my poor communication skills that's costing me the job'. So, I worked on it a lot, improved myself a lot - and was raring to go. Then came the chance of MBT. I scored highest in written, sailed through the hour long technical interview, and the HR was going superb - like never before. The HR person was about to declare my selection to me. Just then she glanced at my previous back papers and showed me the door. I told myself - 'Undeclared Company Policy - No Backs Allowed. My Fault'. Later I got to know some other guys with below cut-off marks and back papers were also hired....!! Then the Qwest event. I've been checking my mail everyday,but there were no new mails for 4 continuous days. So I skipped one day, and when I checked it the next day - I had an interview call from Qwest - which was asking for a confirmation before the previous evening. Another opportunity - LOST.

Then there was Ocwen. I was hopeful like never before. Damn easy written test, scheduled to be followed by simple HR round and a brief tech interview with limited set of questions - repeated every time. What could be easier than that? But to my utter surprise, a GD round was initiated. 18 people shouting and arguing all around me. I knew that was the end of that day. That's when I started believing in luck and cursing it. Anyways, the HR contacted me in few days, and offered me an alternate position to be taken up. I was cheerful and thought maybe last failure was blessing in disguise. Selection process in Ocwen - minus GD is gonna be a cakewalk. But I didn't know that Luck was gonna play a dirty joke on me.

There were total of 6 people there, including me. 3 of them from E&C branch - knowing nothing of Java - a major work domain of Ocwen. I sailed through the HR and technical was remaining. I was 100% sure that I am gonna get selected this time. I typed an sms to send to my friends, waiting for my results back home; saved it to send when I get the official confirmation. Candidates were being called one by one and I was called on 5th turn. Some questions of Java & OS. Then he started asking questions from .Net. I was never prepared for this. This company never works on .Net and it has got nothing to do with it. But still ........ grilled by .Net. At the end - I was branded 'Technically weak'. ....!!! That's the worst thing I've ever heard. My friends from all other branches, and even CS and my branch IS, are learning depths of C++ & Java from me. They all are employed now and I AM TECHNICALLY WEAK.....!!! Mockery of LUCK; what else would U call it.....???

OK, lemme see from a ideological point of view.I failed in my first few chances 'coz I wasn't well enough in HR.
MY FAULT.
I failed in MBT 'coz I had ( previous - no current ) back papers.
MY FAULT.
I missed Qwest 'coz I wasn't vigilant enough to check mail each & everyday..
MY FAULT.
I failed in Ocwen 1st time 'coz I suck at GD.
MY FAULT.
I failed again 'coz I wasn't prepared for .Net
MY FAULT.
But why the hell it always has to be me....!!! Are all others flawless...?? Most of them suck in their skills. All 5, except me were selected yesterday. Most of them were shaking in their boots before the interview. But they were asked kiddish questions while I was grilled with a new language. Isn't it Luck at its worst...?

I am called 'The most eligible candidate' by all of my classmates - even my foes. Every time I go for an interview - they say "This time U r gonna return with a job & lots of sweets for us." Been hearing that since 7th semester. Will hear it again when I go to attend my next call. But only if bad luck stops ruining my day .....

Some reader out there might call all this 'frustration of a looser' or say "U r worthless 'Mr. I M D Best'" Whatever U say - I know one thing for sure now - We are just puppets while LUCK pulls the strings.

Then I hurried to the tech interview venue. That was yet another roller coaster ride. The interviewer seemed pre-irritated. He snatched my resume - went through it for a min and then started shooting his questions. Every question followed by a counter Q and again. He was giving me an impression that he was there to drive the hell out of me. Anyways, when I came out the hall, I was pretty much sure that this pissed off man is not gonna let me move further. But I did move further. I was taken to the HR room. The usual questions followed - which I answered in much better way this time. At one point - she asked me 'what is your preferred location and expected salary?' This particular Q is said to be a sure sign that U r selected. So, I was quite happy that 'finally, I am gonna make it'. But right after that, she glanced at my graduation marks cards and the selection process went down the drain. She spotted some 'back' papers and then on, seemed uninterested. Just 2 formal Qs followed and then "OK, we'll contact U in a week's time". That was the last nail to the coffin. I knew no one's gonna contact. That was similar to "U can leave the premises & never look back".

And thus I gained the greatest disappointment of all time. If they wanted 'clear in 1st attempt' candidates, they should've mentioned that in the job-posting itself. After going through all the hassle, at the end they are telling that I am not eligible....!!! It was like being offered the job and then being stripped off it.

TIP : Inquire about every minute details before going for any interview. If U don't fulfill any of the criteria, attend it at your own risk of disappointment. Who knows, I wasn't lucky, but U might turn out to be the LUCKY one.

The days are not gonna be same again. She is going to be a part of someone else's life & I can't do a thing. I wanted to be a part of every part of her life. I wanted to grow old with her. I dreamt of our little home with our Sonal Minal playing in the garden. I wished I could live in her heart - drown in her eyes & die in her arms. But all those dreams are washed out today. I don't have a dream to live on. I don't know why am I still breathing - why am I still alive..??
Suicide is not an option. That's the path what the cowards choose. The responsibility of my family rests with me. I have a family which loves me a lot. The only extra thing that I asked for was her love. Did I asked god for too much..!!!
They say time is the greatest medicine; it heals all. Then there are craps like -"There are many more fishes in the river","लरकी, बस और ट्रेन","U deserve a far more better girl.." etc etc. I don't know anything of these and I don't give a damn. All I know is I loved this girl - I wanted to spend my life with her - and now she is gone - and I'm all alone. I know I won't be able to love anyone else ever. I don't have a single piece of my broken heart with me.

OK, sorry. I've been crying here for a long time. Sorry for wasting your time. I want to be alone for sometime. Thnx for listening to me.