Today I m here to share my hurt heart's feelings with u all. I don't have close friends & specially 2day - I'm feeling too much alone. So, U r d only people with whome I can share my feelings. As the saying goes - "दूख बांटने से कम होता है" Let me try that out; see if it can help me ease my heart.
There's this girl named Rani in my class. I loved her from the bottom of my heart. She also knew that. Still we are friends. Three years passed like three seconds - or like three ages. Now it was our last yr in college. I was hoping for some miracle - or at least some great moments with her before we part our ways. Truly speaking - I never wanted to get separated from her. I can't imagine my life without her. But I had to accept the reality which is - she doesn't feel 4 me d way I feel for her. So, even though I knew someday we have to part, I wasn't ready to face it so early.

She is engaged. I got the news yesterday but couldn't believe the rumors in the air. I was so much restless the whole of last night. Then it was today in class. She saw me at the corridor as we both were approaching the class. She waited for me to come forward. And then said - "मेरी engagement हो गई है". She couldn't look me into the eyes. Just said it like that & went to the class. She looked so happy. Somehow I survived that class. Then I ran back to my room and afterwards - M in a state of ---- don't know what. My heart seems dead, really. Heart beat is down to 4o beats/min. I sliced a wrist, stabbed a cig, injured the eye - but nothing is hurting more than it is hurting in the heart.
I knew she was never mine. I knew this day was coming. But wen this day really came so early - I am just unable to react. Seems I've lost my senses. I couldn't drop even a single tear. I want to cry - but even tears have betrayed me 2day. I needed a shoulder to lean on - but no one was there beside me. I am still breathing 'coz of my PC. They say my PC is my 1st GF. Maybe they are right. Let me see how long it can hold me together.