---

That's the dream I saw last night. Woke up with a start. Tried to recapture what I went through there. And when everything came rushing back to me, the force of the pain was so grueling that wanted to get rid of it, but to no avail. When U can't fight the tide, it's better to flow with it. "How I would like to die?".

Hey, don't rush to a conclusion. I am not gonna die or kill myself for this. It's just a thought that I was having. Not many people get to choose the way they die. 'The End' da style. And if I were bestowed with this opportunity, I would like to breath my last in .....

---

We are on a seashore. Sun was setting in the distance, giving the water a mild reddish glow. My head resting on her lap. She's holding onto me like dear life. The only thing I could see is the ocean in her eyes. A thousand words, all that was left unsaid were being conveyed n felt in silence.

"I want u to know that I've always loved U" .
"U r the best thing that ever happened to me" .
"Promise me U'll be mine in next lifetime" .

A huge dew drop rolled out from her eyes and was slowly sliding on her cheeks. I tried to reach out - "please don't ...". but there was this huge block on me which won't let me move. Breathing was getting heavier and exhausting. She placed one of her palm on my cheeks and another over my heart. That felt so soothing and instantly calmed me down. It was time to leave. That dew drop was still sliding on her cheeks - noise of it's descend nulling the roar of the sea. It parted with her, dropped from the edge of her chin and was in mid air - and just moments before it was about to fall on my lips - the sun was down - "I'll be waiting."

Those sparkling eyes did wonders. He got lost for an instant and couldn't pay hid to anything else happening around him. The pool of her eyes, brimming with joy and the glitter of love in those eyes, that he knew were for him. He had only heard the term 'Jheel si Ankhe' till then and thought of this term as mad poet's thingy. But now it was his turn to actually drown in one such pair. He kept looking at her eyes, spell-bound. He could see his own image in the mirror of her eyes. 'Wow. She's looking at me with those eyes'. :)

He broke out of the spell when she poked his hand and asked him to show her his laptop. He promptly stood up in reflex and sat next to her on the same couch. Suddenly his heartbeats doubled. She was sooooo close to him. He badly craved to take her in his arms. Prior to coming here, over the phone they had talked about how they'll hug n all. But, now that they were in close proximity, they both were shying away. Anyway, 'at least I can hold her by shoulder...'. 'Yawning trick' came into his mind but he found it too lame. 'No need to pretend anything. Be little brave'. He lifted his left hand and............ kept it on the top edge of the backrest. Thus he thought of it as having her in his arms. If she'd just lean on his chest, just a little bit; and if he curves his left hand a bit, he'll be embracing her. That moment he felt on top of the world.

He looked at her face. Her cheeks looked butter smooth and there was this glow which he couldn't ignore. He sooo wanted to caress her cheeks, rub his cheeks on her's, pull her cheeks et al. But .. ahem. She was beaming. The broad smile on her face made everything look beautiful. And again, the twinkle in her eyes were gripping him like fever. His eyes were roaming all over her face. That cute nose, awwwww. He felt like poking it with his own nose tip. 'But that nose will come in between when we kiss'. His gaze moved to her lips. She was saying something but he couldn't hear a word. He had lost his senses. Those chocolate lips were soooo mesmerizing, he kept looking at them with his mouth open. Her slightly glossed lips were looking sooo inviting. On top of that, few water drops from her last water sip were glittering like dewdrops on her lips and giving it a tempting 'wet rose petal' look. He wanted to lean in and kiss her softly on those rose petals and drink each water droplet one by one. He literally felt hypnotized and drawn towards her delicious lips.

Suddenly she stopped talking and stared at him. He felt embarrassed for a moment. But then she let out a chuckle and turning her face away, started checking her make-up in her hand mirror. He still felt drawn towards her mirror. Her long flowing hairs crashed on his shoulder, caressing his cheeks. He slowly ran his right palm n fingers over her hairs. Smoothness of her hairs weren't even an iota less than what she had claimed earlier. As his fingers ploughed through her hair, it felt like silk threads. The slow dance of her hairs on his shoulder felt like a cool breeze from a waterfall. He buried his nose in her hairs and smelled them. He couldn't compare it with the smell of any flower as what he smelt was out of this world. He was loosing his control in that aroma and found himself floating in that cloud.

She poked his leg with her toes to get him out of his trance. When he look at her, startled 'Ummm,.. Ahh.. Wha(t)..!!!!', she let out this beautiful laughter. It started from her lips, emitted her eyes and reached his heart. The sound of cool-ly flowing river soothed his senses. At that instant, he picked up her glass of water and sipped from it. She did the same. They looked into each others eyes while sipping and a lot of love n affection was exchanged in an instant.

After some time passed like this, it was time to part. She placed her hands on the table to exclaim 'See, I've got an old burn mark'. He immediately held her hands and 'carefully' inspected the mark. But after that, none of them let go. They held each others hands, for the first time. The touch was heavenly. He had never felt sooo amazing. Her hands were cold and were drawing heat from his palm. He felt really good at this. "Chalo, at least I'm literally giving her warmth :p ". Both were caressing each other back of palm with their thumb. He felt cool mint flowing under his skin. The feather touch of her palm against his - he felt as if he was holding an angel. He ran his eyes up her hands; smooth flawless hands and watched her perfect shoulders. He wanted to reach across the table, hold her hands, make her stand up and then hug her tight; wanted her beautiful hands wrapped around his body. But then again .... .public restaurant...!!! :(

They both stood up to leave. He didn't want to let her go. He was thinking of any possible way to stall her, so that he can love her some more. But, it wasn't to be. Biding adieu, she went out the door. After some 10-20 seconds, he left the restaurant and watched her go in the distance, her perfect angelic body floating inches above the ground. He wanted to run up to her and hold her in his embrace. But couldn't. He kept looking at her majestic walk until she was lost in the crowd.

We went to Brigade Road for dinner that night. After dinner, roaming on Brigade felt like a dream. The crowd was very less. I was feeling like prince, strolling with my princess - hands in hands. Back home, just before entering home, she gave me a long tight hug at the porch. It felt like eternity. We walked into our room in each others embrace and collapsed on the bed. She looked into my eyes for sometime and then closed her eyes. My angel was in my arms. I gently kissed her on forehead, eyelids, nose-tip, cheeks, lips. After each kiss, she held me even tighter. Then she started with kissing my chin. Within half hour, she had covered every inch of my face with her love. I held her in my arms as my baby drifted into sleep later on.

Next morning, while still half asleep, I felt hot air blowing on my face. But there was something unusual. This hot air had this nice aroma which felt sooo soothing. It was she breathing on my face, whispering in my ears - "Wake up baby. Good Morning". I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me - all smiling. As my eyes met her, I saw the glint of morning sun in her sparkling eyes. I received a wet kiss on my cheeks as morning breakfast. She giggled and was about to leave my bed side when I pulled her back in and wrapped her in my arms. She started tickling me and so did I. Best way to wake up. :)

I skipped office that day. Next few days as well, for that matter. Spent every moment with her, helped her tiding up the house, played with her, cooked with her and everything. Next week onwards, I had to go to office anyway, even though I wasn't feeling like going. She hugged me at the door and kissed me 'bye-bye' and 'come back soon'. On the way to office, I was missing her already. I could still feel her tight embrace, her body pressed against mine, her breath on my cheeks, her wet lips on mine. I kept calling her from office every now n then. And seems she was seating beside the phone all day, as she was picking up the phone on 1st ring itself. My manager wasn't happy though. Apparently I spent more than half the time in office on phone and on top of that, left office earlier than usual. :P

I picked up some flowers for her on my way back home. Couldn't wait to get back home. This was happening for the 1st time. Usually I was among the last person to leave office. But now things had changed. I had someone to come home to. Damn this traffic, the cab was moving so slowly. The 10 minute drive to home took like forever. When I reached home, a surprise was waiting for me. She opened the gate for me and Wow!!! She was standing there like a seductress, oozing a lot of oomph. She welcomed me inside the house, made me seat on the couch and gave me a juice. Then she told me take a shower. I couldn't disobey this diva. I was spell bound. So, I was in the bathroom, standing under the shower. I thought she was in the kitchen, fixing me dinner. But suddenly I felt her behind me and then I felt her fingers on my bare back. She was running her palms on my back. I was shivering under the hot shower. She came more close, kissed me on back of neck and hugged me from behind, her hands on my chest. A current ran through my body. I turned around, cupped her face and kissed her wet trembling lips. We kissed madly, like never before until we both were breathless. Her cloths were all soaked in water and her body felt great against mine. Then she started kissing me all over my body. The touch of her lips on my skin was driving me crazy. I was loosing control of myself.

I pulled her close to me, wrapped my hands around her waist and started kissing her all over. We both were kissing every inch we could place our lips on. My kisses on her neck were sensuous for both of us. I carried her into our bedroom, she clinging onto me with her legs and hands, we both kissing all the way. I collapsed with her on the bed, which got wet from all the water. She got rid of her wet cloths. She was looking smokin hot and yet soooo beautiful. And she was blushing now. At first she pulled the sheets to cover herself, but then she came rushing and hugged me tight, her body pressed against mine. I made her lie on her back and kissed all over her body for the first time. I wanted her badly. We made love that night, for the first time. It was heavenly experience for me. As she slept in my arms that night, I felt like the most blessed guy on earth.

Days passed by and before we knew it, we were celebrating our 6th 'manniversary'. That's a term we coined. See, 26th May was the day that we had confessed our love for each other. Since that day, we celebrate on 26th of every month. Come'on. Wait for anniversary is very long. So, we celebrate manniversary every month. It is our own valentines day which comes every month. :) But from the day after the 3rd maaniversary, I noticed that she wasn't her usual chirpy bubbly self. Something was amiss and she wouldn't tell me what. On my prodding, she'd tell me that she was just a bit tired. But wouldn't let me skip office to stay with her. This continued for couple of days. Then I refused to go office one day and stayed with her. We spent all day in our bedroom. She rested beside me, her head on my shoulder and hand on my chest. I held her close to me. I felt her quivering. I pulled her up and looked at her. Her eyes were moist. She tried to hide it and buried her head in my chest. I just held her and caressed her. I knew anything else wont do any good to her. Finally she whispered in a chocked voice - "I miss mom and dad".

We both had wished for a happy life of togetherness. We had wished that we'll get married with our parents' blessings. But since that hadn't happened, we were just living together. Everything was there between us. All the love, happiness and understanding. Everything that a couple wishes for. I knew if I asked her to marry me, she'd accept it. But she'll always feel the absence of her parents' blessings and that's something that'll keep her sad maybe deep somewhere within. So, I never raised the question. But now it was time. But just as she, just as we had wished for. I have to make it happen. We were going back to where we eloped from. Her city, her parents.

She was reluctant to go back there. She was afraid that her parents will take her away from me. But I gave her strength and assured her that I won't let anything bad happen. When I stepped into her parents' house, holding her hands - it was a scene from some Karan Johar flick. Total chaos prevailed for quite some time. But long story short, her parents were happy to see her again. Apparently, they had imagined that I'm a bad guy who had bewitched their daughter and won't let them see her again. But when they saw that she was happy with me and I'm not really a bad guy, they accepted 'Us'. Maybe the fact that we stayed together for 6 months influenced the acceptance. :P I called my parents there as well. Now, the two sets of parents had their formal meeting. Well, that was really just a formality as they knew they'll have to accept the marriage now. When they came out from their meeting room, her dad welcomed me with open arms and so did my parents for her. Just then, I went down on my knees, held her hands, looked her in the eyes and proposed "Would you spend the rest of your life with me?"

Epilogue :

26th December - the day we got married - on our 7th Manniversary. This marriage was definitely 'not made in heaven'. We had many turbulence and roadblocks. At times, it seemed that god himself is dealing cards against us. But we never gave in. We fought against all adversaries and finally made it work. We got married. But this didn't end there. Our married life faced hardship as well. Couple of times, it was on the verge of break-up. But, we survived everything. But that's another story I'll tell you some other day. For now, let me wake my angel up and wish her happy 50th marriage anniversary and 607th Manniversary.

---

Read all the Episodes - one by one - Here. And wait for the upcoming PDF book. I'll mention the names of those who participated in the Survey for Episode 6 there.

It's been half hour since we reached MP. She was asleep with her head resting on my shoulder. I didn't want to wake up my sleeping beauty. she was sleeping like a baby.I ran my fingers through her hairs and was looking at her closed eyes. I had this urge to kiss her eyelids. But then she opened her eyes very slowly and our eyes met. The tiny hint of a smile on her lips was looking so cute. 'Good Morning, sunshine'. Kissed her on cheeks instead. :) After she had freshen up, we alighted from the bus. Our 1st stop - MP.

We took our 1st lunch together at a local dhaba. Not a fancy restaurant and all that glitz. We sat on the 'charpayi' and had a normal meal, followed by a glassful of lassi that we shared. But still it was so romantic. Through out the course, we kept looking at each other, giggling. Often some food would spill out of my mouth due to the giggling and she'd smirk. Then she'd make me eat the next few times from her hands. That was very sweet. So, I'd deliberately spill food and make her do that again. She understood what I was doing but still fed me with her hands. Well, I fed her too and each time she'd brush her lips on my fingers. She even bit my fingers twice. Hmmm.

A caravan of farmers / traders was heading towards Amravati. We had better means to reach there but she chose to travel this way; as we'd get more 'fun time together'. We sat on a heap of hay in one of the tractors. As the caravan begun, we lay there next to each other and watched the white clouds falling behind. I shifted to my side, lifted my head and looked at her. She was looking so beautiful in the evening light. I was again running my fingers through her hairs, touching her ears, caressing her cheeks; all the while looking deep into her eyes. She was getting more n more silent, her skin getting warmer. Don't know if her eyes were attracting me or did she really pull me towards her, our faces were at a distance of few centimeters now.
I could feel her breath running down my face. Her body was shivering in my embrace. Her eyes were shining like a thousand stars. And her lips were quivering. I saw a few dew drops sparkling on her lips and felt bewitched. I touched her lips with my thumb. They were very very soft. Her whole body shivered. Then she lifted her head just a bit and I traversed rest of the distance. I gently touched her lips with mine and kissed her. She held my head with both her hands and pulled me deeper. We both kissed each other passionately for couple of minutes. Nothing else seemed to matter. When we let go to catch our breath, we looked into each others eyes like we've never seen before. I kissed her again - long, deep, wet n warm. Our 1st lip kiss. The best moment of my life so far.

I took her in my arms and she wrapped her arms around me. I kissed her forehead and she let out a soft moan. Every little noise that she made, drove me crazy and I held her even tighter. Everything in the way was so beautiful. The clear blue sky, the west-bound sun, the cool breeze, the mustard field, the river, kids playing on the village road, ladies carrying pots of water - everything was sooo soothing. This was our real India Tour. By dinner time, we had reached Amravati. We hit the local market soon, as suggested by our ride. We held hands and just roamed the market. I found a real cute n beautiful bracelet for her. It looked even better on her wrist. She liked it too and kept playing with the beads. And I got a peck on my cheek in return. It wasn't supposed to happen but my cheeks and nose-tip turned red. I was blushing...!! Gaus, where do I hide?

There was a bus leaving for Mumbai shortly. But we both decided that it's better to take rest for the night. We checked into a posh hotel. At the desk she registered herself as my wife, to avoid any suspicion & unwanted questions. When she pronounced her name with my surname, I felt this rush of emotions. I was happy beyond all measures. I couldn't hear what else she said at the desk. I wanted to hug her then n there. I barely managed to contain myself. But not for long. I just followed her into the room and as soon as the room-service left us, I instantly hugged her tight. Seems she also had this rush since the front-desk. She held me even tighter. And maybe we let out a tear-drop or two. 'Coz for a moment there, my vision went blurry. I made her sit on the couch, went down on my knees and rested my head in her lap. She played with my hairs very nicely, and kissed my temple. That felt very sweet. My future wife. My gaze went to the bed. Double-Bed. What....!! 'DOUBLE BED'. She had booked a double-bed room. Then my gaze came back to the couch. Damn. I'd have to sleep on the couch.

I prepared the bed for her and picked up my pillow & sheets for my night-out on couch. As I headed towards my 'couch-cum-bed', she gave me a puzzled 'what-on-earth-are-you-doing' look. I didn't know what to say. She took my stuff out of my hands, threw them on the bed, looked me in the eyes and said "I LOVE you, I trust you and I'm not afraid of you. You can sleep on the same bed. Don't behave like a stranger with me". After a little debate, I had to give in, as she threatened to sleep on couch. We ordered our dinner and had it delivered in the room. Another round of feeding each other followed. This time it was more spontaneous and intimate. The touch of her lips on my fingers felt so sensuous. After dinner, we sat on the bed, my back against the wall and she in my arms. We looked back at the past two days. All the lovely moments that we spent together, hand in hand. We talked till late night. She needed to sleep now. My angel was tired.

We lay next to each other for the second time that day, this time on a proper bed and just two of us. I was wondering if she did this just out of courtesy or to show her trust in me or something else. She was just looking at my face, eyes half closed, as if drifting into sleep. I was trying to read her face. But I couldn't find anything. Instead she read my thoughts. She flashed another magnificent smile, placed her palm on my cheek, kissed the other cheek and then kissed me very softly on my lips. Wow, I was also drifting into sleep. Was I already dreaming? I kissed her back. 'Good night. Sleep well, Darling' - she said to me and slept in my arms. I kept looking at her. The most beautiful angel was sleeping so peacefully in my embrace. All my dreams had come true. Slowly, I was also asleep. After all-day-fun, the body needed some rest.

Next morning, when I woke up, she wasn't there beside me. And, where am I anyway? For a minute there, I couldn't remember what has happened in the past couple days. Was it all a dream? It can't be. Can it? Then she walked into the room, with a tea-tray in hand, which she placed on the bed-side table and sat next to me. She kissed me again [guess where] 'Good Morning, baby'. Wow. The best way to wake up every morning. I took her in my arms and pulled her onto the bed. She lay below me and was trying to get free. As I brought my face closer to her to kiss, she gasped and pushed me away. 'Ish. Go brush first. Dirty Boy'. I made a sad face and descended from the bed. Just then she hugged me from behind and kissed my neck. For a moment there, I felt lightning bolt running through my whole body. I turned around and hugged her tight.

We came to Mumbai on the next bus. After taking rest for an hour, we went to Marine Drive, Chaupati, Gateway of India etc. Saw the Arabian Sea (any sea for that matter) for the 1st time. I was amazed at the vastness of the water-body and was thinking about typical hindi love songs. Like - 'Sagar ki gehrayi se gehra hai apna pyar' [my love has more depth than sea]. I was wondering how can something be deeper than this vast ocean? I guess I wanted to ask her this. But when I looked at her, I knew those lyricist aren't totally mad. Walking on the beach at sunset with her hands in mine was great. The brick-red sky, mild roar of the ocean, the waves lapping up our feet - everything was soooo romantic. We vowed to be together for the 'rest of our lives' in front of the setting sun.

We took the night train from VT Station for Bangalore; our Final destination. As usual, we talked till late night. This time, we didn't need to share bed [berth, actually] as a single berth wasn't enough for two people. ;) So, Good Night kiss, Mmwwaah Hug and two berths facing each other. That was the night on train. Next morning we both were excited like anything. After all, by that evening we were going to be at home. OUR home. We both were smiling, giggling n stuff. After freshening up, she took out a bag of Lays chips for break-fast. That's her one childish habit which I really don't like. She eats junk-food for breakfast. I mean, come'on. Eat something healthy, baby. I took away that bag and offered a bread-butter toast instead. She made this innocent kid face who is forced to do something that she doesn't wanna do. Huh. I'm not falling for this. You got to eat healthy. She didn't say anything and finished her toast. After we were finished with the breakfast, she said - 'Now, my turn'. This time she took out a cake box, picked one cake slice, put half in her mouth and offered me the second half. Though the curtains were drawn, I checked to make sure no one was snooping. Then I came close to her, took a quarter portion in my mouth and begun chewing my way in. In some time, I had claimed my half of the cake and my lips were caressing her lips. At the end, donno who got which half of the cake but we ended up kissing each other madly. The chocolate cake added to the flavor. Not a big difference though. Her lips are anyway always delicious. :) The best dessert in the world, patented for me.

Towards the eve when we were about to reach Bangalore, I was standing near the gate to watch the fields and stuff. But she won't let me stand 'so dangerously' near the open gate. No matter how much I cajoled her, she kept pulling me into the coupe. Finally I had to give in. I was slightly irritated as I didn't get to see the scenery. But then I felt really good too, that she was actually worried about me and was taking care of me. Anyway, we finally reached Bangalore around 7PM. She was excited like a baby. She was talking and chirping and laughing and everything. I got off the train first, unloaded the baggage and .... when she was getting down, took her right hand in mine and helped her alight the train. Felt like receiving my princess in my kingdom. :) Welcome, my princess.

Took a cab from the station and reached my home directly. On the way, she was constantly looking out of the cab window, taking in the view of the new city. She was here for the 1st time in her life. And, I was just looking at her excited n happy face. We both were lost in this activity and lost account of when we reached our home. The driver had to call out 'Sir, we've reached' twice to get our attention. Ohhhh. Finally. I unloaded the baggage once again, took her bags myself, [ no mistake this time. :P ] took her out of the cab and headed towards OUR home. And Opened the main entrance. We both stood there, perplexed, for quite some time. It was a big moment for both of us. The she said "Let's get in. I'll take right foot-step first to make this moment auspicious". I looked into her eyes with all the love in the world and said - "There's better way of doing this". She gave me another puzzled 'like-what?' look. I placed my right hand on her waist as if to hug her. Then with my other hand, swept her off her feet. She was frightened for a moment but then was very thrilled. She placed her arms around my neck and held me tight. And I carried my princess in my arms into OUR HOME.

[ To Be Continued ... ]

Previously in the Series :

• Episode 1 : Jab We Met [Online]
• Episode 2 : Be my (L / W) ife
• Episode 3 : The Rendezvous
• Episode 4 : Arranged Love

We are supposed to marry a total stranger and still spend the rest of our life with him / her - 'happily ever after'.

Well, that's the general scene in India; where love marriage is still a taboo. We [me n my love] decided to take the plunge. When our love was rejected by parents even after lots of cajoling, praying, crying - we decided to elope. Thankfully, we weren't totally alone. We found a friend [F] in her cousin who supported us secretly. After she was virtually locked up in her room, F came to her rescue. F contacted me and told me all that was going on at the house. There was a chance of she being forcibly married off in a hurry. So, we had to think fast n clear. We devised a plan and acted on it. F helped her escape the house, not at mid of night, but broad daylight. That was pretty brave and brilliant. I still get goose bumps thinking 'Wow, we pulled that one off'. We met at the park again. F brought her to me, placed her hand in mine and said "Now she's yours. Take care of her. Don't ever make me regret what I just did". I hugged F instantly and assured that I won't let anything bad happen to her. F took off saying it's better if she doesn't know where n how we're escaping now on. Now it was just me and her, holding hands in the crowd, looking deep into each others eyes. There was lot of expectations, joy, excitement in those eyes. But more than anything, there was a hint of tear in the corner of her eyes. She was sad 'coz of the way she had to leave home n family. I felt sorry for her 'coz she had to do this for me. I gave her hug, kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear - "Everything will be ok. U sure U want to spend the rest of your life with me?". My heart skipped a bit when she quietly freed herself from my embrace and turned away. Ohhh, to pick up her bag. Then she faced me again, looked me in the eye and said "shall we begin the rest of OUR life?".

I felt like I had never felt before. I was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. Now she was my responsibility, most precious part of my life. I'll guard this angel from all the evil of this world, care for her, love her, pamper her n always keep her happy. She'll have my babies some day, we'll be proud parents ourselves. "Shall Weee...?" Ohh, she was reading my thoughts.

Me  : Let's go.
She : Helloooo ..... Mr. Hubby to be .... am I supposed to carry my bag myself? :p
Me  : oooopss. [after taking the bag] Just the bag? I can sweep u off your feet and carry you as well in my arms.
She : Ohh yeah...?? Lemme see you try that.

As I made a move to hold her, she blushed away. "Have u gone crazy..!! Do that when we're alone at your home. Now let's move" And thus began the 'Rest of our life'.

[ To Be Continued ... ]

Previously in the Series :

• Episode 1 : Jab We Met [Online]
• Episode 2 : Be my (L / W) ife
• Episode 3 : The Rendezvous

Upon landing, finding her in the crowd of people waiting at the reception area was my 1st concern. How am I gonna find someone whom I've never seen. As a last resort, I can call her or maybe she's holding a placard like some others, which I find quite funny nd irritating sometimes. But nope, I didn't see any placard with my or her name on it. To get me more confused, there were atleast 30 - 40 girls my age there, quite a few of them eying me. Is she the one.....?? No, she thinks I'm lost. Her....?? Ohh, she's receiving her dad or uncle or whoever. Oh, I think that's her; the girl waving at me.. Hii....... iiiiisss. Com'on, how can I fall for this? She was waving at the guy just behind me. She ....? Her ....? That Gal ....? This .... That's her. Found her. The most beautiful girl among all of them.

Ok, that's an exaggeration. :D Still, for me, she was THE most beautiful girl there, as she was looking at me with all the love of the world in her eyes. I realized she was following me with her eyes all this time. I needed no introduction. The moment I saw her, I knew it was her. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I let go off my baggage and spread my hands, ready to embrace her. She walked towards me with increasing pace and suddenly broke into a short run and lunged at me. I held her in my arms and took a 360 spin. We both held each other in close embrace, looking deep into eyes, feeling the rush of the moment. Our first meet, first touch, first hug.

Later on that day, we were walking on the park side. She was walking by my side, clutching my hand, her head lightly resting on my shoulder. I wished that we could go on like that for ever. She hadn't talked much since my arrival. I knew she likes to let the 'eyes talk', but com'on yaar - say something to me. And she said "Take me away from here, far away - with you". I told her that I was gonna talk to her parents 1st and ask for their permission. She was dead against it from the start. But, at last she also believed that she must give them a chance. I told her how to break the story at home and what she needs to do. Gave her lotsa courage and never let her feel alone in all these. She never let go off my hand even for a second.

That night, she told her parents about me. They didn't take it so well. There was catastrophe. she was virtually held up in her room whole of next day. She persuaded them and gave them time to think. At last they agreed to meet me. She was happy, for the time being. 'Coz she never believed that her parents would even grant me a visit. She gave me a call, all excited, and asked me to come over the next day. She was giving a lotsa tips about what her parents like n dislike and such stuff. I heard some, missed many. I was just absorbing the excitement and happiness in her voice. Tomorrow was the big day - Meeting the parents.

I reached her home on time. I was drop-dead afraid, standing on her porch. I was sweating in winter. Her cousins took me to the living room. They all were askin me lotsa question - how we met, what we intend to do etc. They were all sport and helped me get at ease. But the moment her parents walked in, I was shaking in my shoes again. Her dad's killing stare or mom's despising gaze weren't helping either. But then I saw her behind the curtains, trying to give me confidence, even though she was afraid herself. There was this mix of excitement, expectation and fear on her face, all giving her a face pink tint. There were lots of hopes in her eyes and her lips were quivering. I knew I got to do this, got to win her. All my fears and inhibitions were gone and I faced her dad with determination.

But, let's just say - it didn't go that well. Long story short - they had agreed to meet me - just for the heck of it. To show her that they met her demand, saw me and didn't find me suitable. They had no intention of giving us a fair chance. When her dad finally said "Stay away from my daughter", she came out from behind the curtain and protested. There was this verbal brawl, which was terminated by her dad slapping her. She was in tears, tears of contempt, sadness, anger. That broke me. I knew I got to take her away from there. Our option A had failed. now it was time for option B. We paid they our respect by asking for their permission and blessings. Now it was our turn to make our own way. Our option B - Elope.

[ To Be continued ... ]

When I say we weren't meant to be together, I mean it literally. God played all the tricks in his sleeve to prevent us coming together and later, to separate us. I found her in the most unconventional way. It was the blogsphere where we met first, virtually. I just randomly landed on her blog, read a lovely poem and left a comment there. She thought it was someone she knew. So, she approved the comment, but still, to confirm his identity, she pinged me over the chat. Turns out, we were total strangers to each other. Still we exchanged our Orkut profile links. I found out that she was already talking about me with another friend of her. I checked both the scrapbooks to see what the conversation was. She got a hint of this snooping and confronted me. I defended myself as I didn't think that I did anything wrong. That's how it all started - with a fight.

Later on, we were chatting and mailing like anything. But our timings never accommodated that. Whenever she was online, I was off and vice versa. Still we made it point to reach out to each other every single day - by mail, orkut, blog comment et al. I'd stay back in office late-night so that I can meet her online and she would go online early mornings for the same. Yet we weren't a couple. In fact, we were madly trying not to fall in love. She won't give me her cell number, won't send any pic, would say how her parents can fix her marriage any day. I on my part, was trying to take my attention off her by concentrating on other girls here. Ohh, this HR is so cute, I can date her. Girl next door seems interested. We can go out. I tried to be an average spoilt guy - dating girls and not serious about a thing. But no matter what I did, at the end of day everyday, I thought about her only. Later on, she also started doing the same. She'd tell me about her latest crushes. I thought that she's just teasing me, which she loves to. But I used to get upset after such conversations. I got my unfair share of sleepless nights. All night I'd think what's happening to me. I can't be in love with her.... I haven't even seen her. One couldn't be in love with a person without seeing him / her. It must be jealousy. . Am I in love?

Then one fine day, she gave me her cell number - at last. She woke me up that morning with the sweetest 'hello'. Guess I was reborn that day. We were now talking, chatting and SMSing like anything. By this time, we were acting boyfriend - girlfriend, virtually. We would sing to each other. I loved to call her 'Shona'. So, 'Hey Shona' was our love song. I recorded this in my voice and mailed her. She used to listen to it all day. That very thought used to tickle me all day. She loved all the songs I loved. Every other day, I'd tell her how I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her. We'd talk about possibility of love brewing up between us, live-in, marriage, life after that, our kids et al. But everytime, at the end she'd say that she won't marry me. :( Broke my heart. All this under the wrap of 'casual kidding and teasing'. No one would actually say how much we loved each other. I wished we could really consider all these. At least, I wanted her to know that when I say that she's the best thing to ever have happened to me, I really mean it. But she didn't understand it then. We were merely playing hide n tease. Then one fine day, she called me up and said "My parents have fixed my marriage and I'm getting engaged next month".

[ To be Continued ... ]

Or maybe he just imagined. 'Coz at times he felt that those eyes were accusing him of staring at her. He knew that the charge was true but he couldn't help it. Everyday he'd go and sit at the last cube from where he can watch her walk almost all the way to her cube. The grace and attitude with which she carried herself, always made him want her even more. That's another moment he'd cherish always - like a recurring dream. At his desk, he'd suddenly feel that "she's here". He looks left and there she is - walking towards him in great strides. For a second there, they look eye in eye. He'd hastly look away, not wanting to offend her. But in his mind, he'd crave for a second glimpse. And in his mind, he does look back at her. There he's still looking into her eyes, gliding his gaze all over her frame and feeling her getting closer every moment. He snaps out of this when she takes a left turn towards her cube and he's no longer able to see her. He wishes someday this will change. Someday, she'd take a few more steps - towards him. Come real close and whisper in his ears - if nothing else, at least - "Why were you staring at me?".

He wanted to tell her that he has a huge crush on her. He wished he'd go upto her desk, tap her shoulder, face her, look her deep in the eyes [omg] and say - "Errmmmm, this might sound crazy, but the thing is - I've got this huge crush on you and I just wanted you to know". He used to imagine how she'd react. For moment there, she'd be speechless - staring at his face. Pin drop silence. Then she'd giggle and say "Awwwwww, that's so cute... but I'm already ..." Possibly she's already dating somebody or is married. In any case, she was way out of his league. He knew she'd outright reject him and would possibly make fun of him in front of others. But he didn't cared about the humiliation. He just wanted her to know. But there was another hurdle. It wasn't some college. He was in a corporate office and if she feels offended, it can spell doom for his career. And that's a risk he can't afford. This is where his fairy-tale love story collides with the hard world reality and he decides to keep it to himself.

He creates a dream land of his own, where two of them are together and no one else. They are walking on the white-sand beach, embracing each other, overlooking the sunset. A cool breeze is blowing all over. Mmmmmm; she smells soooo good. She shivers a little. The white sand is tickling their bare feet, and every now and then, the waves are lapping it up. She suddenly spans around and looks at him in that half-hug embrace. She brings her perfect lips close to his. Then they sharply change track and she gently blows a small puff of air in his ear. He hears the ocean roaring in his ears and a chill runs down his spine. He looks at her and she looks exactly the same as she looked the 1st day. Or even better. She has the perfect body. As if every curve, every inch of her structure was chiseled by god himself. Her whole face is glowing in the ending daylight, sun rays are skidding off her smooth skin. Her nose tip is more red than the setting sun. Did he just see it quiver? Or was it her wet lips, with glittering dew drops strewn across it. Those are saying something, inviting him. Everything is so enchanted. He slowly leaned forward. Their breaths collided and then lips touched. He felt at heaven instantly. The intimacy wasn't about sex. It was love-making. He understood the difference for the 1st time. He wanted to make love to her with all his heart n soul. Till the end of times.

SS was anyway genuinely worried 'bout me. For once, I was loosing her and also my beloved. She was constantly telling me to express my feelings to this gal. Her logic –

SS:	See itz nothing wrong to develop feelings for someone. Just go tell her. Itz imp for u to let her know ur feelings towards her. What if she feels happy? understands and respects ur feeling? prolly she will give u a friendly hug and say I understand :)

[ Read rest of the chat script in the upcoming PDF version ]

At times, I feel really very weak at my knees. When SS keeps pressing me to express my feelings, I feel like letting it out. What’s gonna happen? She'll avoid me? She's leaving me forever anyway. And even before that we're not really romancing. So why am I burning myself like this? Just tell her what I feel for her. SS makes me believe that she won't take it badly. But still there's this 1% fear of loosing what I already have with her - our precious bond, our special relation. No matter how much understanding she is - no matter how much she appreciates my feelings now - once I tell her the truth - there'll be always a certain / huge uneasiness between us. Our care free attitude will take a blow. And that will hurt more.

There’s another instance when she made me vulnerable. 1st July. That day I had a terrible argument with my roomie and was boiling like anything. So asked SS if she'll be awake till midnight so that I can chat and vent out. Around midnight she msged - "OK I'm here to listen. waiting". that itself melted me. So nice of her. I kept on ranting about all my frustration and she listened to all of it and kept comforting me. Then eventually there was this about how I'm suffocating myself by not expressing my feelings to that gal. This time she was giving me courage to look for hope in this fog. She said -

U know what? U love her immensely. True love.
I wish she could hear U.
Is she happy with her finance?
Some people just walk around as if they r happy, but still they have issues.
................
And she hasn't got married yet no? Go say. Ask her to read your posts.

All that she said were so SO provocative. For an instance I felt like calling her up then n there. But then, didn't want to create complications for her. All that SS said were filmy wishful thinking. She'll read my posts, feel the depths of my love, fall in love with me, break her engagement and marry me instead .... huh .... such things happen only in candy floss movies. Not real life.

all those feelings that she has been appreciating all along were for none other than herself

Everybody is an expert in giving advice. But it's only when they are thrust into a weird situation that they get perplexed. What if SS was really the one I loved? She has already read my posts. So, if I'd told her @ that very moment that It's U, how would've she reacted? Knowing that all those feelings that she has been appreciating all along were for none other than herself, will she still find them adorable? If can't expect SS, who I guess knows me so well, to fathom it properly - how can I pretend that she [one whom I do love ] will...?? So, it's better the way it is - buried. But SS was just being a supportive friend, like a strong pillar giving all the support it can to a collapsing house in a storm. What R friends for?

Anyway, I didn't start this doc to write about this gal but it's about me & SS. So, back to our story. Well, as it is with every young lady - the days between engagement and marriage are the most memorable days - full of excitement, compassion, fear and lotsa tender feelings .... blah blah blah. Don't ask me about it 'coz I haven't been through it personally till date. But have seen SS in this phase. She was so vibrant and yet vulnerable in those last few days. Used to cry a lot at the tiniest instance. She was worried about whether she'd be able to take proper care of AM and do justice to his endless love. I did my best to comfort her, but donno how much it helped. She was as brittle as always.

The day of her wedding was finally nearing rapidly. One day I saw her wedding invitation card on her blog. [ didn't receive any formal invitation though. ;) ] And then she called me up asking me to attend the wedding. "See if U can make it to the wedding". At that very moment, a previous convo that we had was playing in my mind. The night she had called me up after reading my post about her, she had said "I know U won't attend my wedding". We both were chuckling @ this, 'coz we both knew what she's saying is true. That was when she had promised last time to meet. She had said

"I suggest we'll meet sometime in July. Will treat U for everything - Job, Engagement and Wedding. I'll spend some time with you. I'm gonna miss all of U".

I didn't have high hopes on this ever. And as it turned out, she really didn't recall having said that ever. July just vanished from the calendar - just like that.

Anyways, finally it was 15th Aug, marking India's 60 years of Independence. But for me, more than that, the BIG day of my Best Friend SS. Texted her @ the stroke of midnight -

"Your voyage for a new life begins today. Wish U all the happiness in life".

Didn't call her up, not then - not ever after that. 'Coz now she wasn't just my friend. She was wife to someone. No matter how deep or pure other relations are, marriage does affect everything.

Didn't attend it physically, but kept imagining what could be possibly happening right now at the venue. The day after, a couple of visibly insignificant SMSs were exchanged. But well, those were possibly the last words we ever exchange. So, wouldn't delete them from my cell ever. She's leaving for US on 5th Sep. Unlike SS, who has a very poor short term memory, I remember such dates almost perfectly. I don't need it to be 1st May or 15th Aug. HeHe. Just teasing her.

Epilogue

It's been just a bit more than one year of knowing her. Met her JUST once and spent a lifetime [ or was it just a few fraction of seconds ] with her. She knows me more than any leaving soul on this planet. And I've seen all UPs and DOWNs of her life. Seen the little kid in her heart who helplessly craves for mom, finds delight in moonlit nights, gets frightened by cats, tries to catch butterflies. And yet sometimes, it's she only who's an adolescent lady - one who falls for a unknown voice over the telephone, finds kindling romanticism in getting drenched in rain, gets jealous of others falling in love but not her. Sometimes she is more mature than her age - raising her voice against the social evils - eve-teasing and all.

And above all, being the sweetest friend to me. The best thing that ever happened to me.

When she must - she stood her ground. At her weaker moments - she's as fragile as a newborn baby. Have seen her go through the turmoils of Apara - Infy - and Accenture. Been there when she was having a hard time with mounting pressure to get married. Seen her switching to arranged marriage clan. Seen her chirping like a humming bird, crying like a bereaved child, fighting like a warrior - facing the world with panache. And above all, being the sweetest friend to me. The best thing that ever happened to me.

And ya, the fear of loosing this sweetest friend is still there. I won't get to hear her voice - ever. She's gonna move to some US city and maybe only GTalk will be our mode of communication - that too for a limited period due to time differences. And even this communication is gonna die down soon after that. Life will always seem incomplete and in wait, just as this little diary of mine is.

I know U will, but still, can't resist the temptation of saying this to U AM. "Take care of Her".

One dear friend that I got after so long was again going to disappear.

Guess I didn’t respond nicely to her BIG news. That’s when she got this idea that I’m not OK with this event and that I might be in love with her. She kind of expressed this assumption when one day she asked me if I’d create a website for her ‘even after knowing what it’s about'? She wanted me to design a site for her and AM, how they clicked n all. I’d have loved to do that. But the way she asked it – I kind of felt weak. It wasn’t love. I have met her just once and now she was going to be married to someone. So, there was no love as she had presumed. But there was surely this feeling that she’s going away. One dear friend that I got after so long was again going to disappear. That made me kind of hollow and I was in a state of daze. And SS assumed this ‘sadness’ of mine to be my ‘broken heart’.

In those days, she tried to ‘mend my heart’. She was sweet. It was so nice of her that she cared, but bit of disheartening to see that she didn’t understand me. Just before her engagement, she asked me –

SS:	u don wanna know about my guy? Can u make it for engagement?
Me:	don think so. Am planning to go to college this Sunday.
SS:	how about Tuesday?
Me:	sun, mon, tue - 3days I’ll be there.
SS:	ok fine

[ 54 minutes’ silence ]
[ Read rest of the chat script in the upcoming PDF version ]

And after the engagement: -

SS:	hello how r u? r u angry with me?
Me:	Hi. not so good. Why would I be?
SS:	u didn’t come for my engagement...!!
Me:	I didn't come to office either. Man, I’m in pain. Back pain.
SS:	I still sense that something is wrong.

[ after a long pause ]
[ Read rest of the chat script in the upcoming PDF version ]

And later: -

Me:	I guess I’ve got lots to tell U.
SS:	temme no. temme I’m here to listen. Just let it out. U will feel goood.
Me:	honestly, I donno what. Every morning wen I login to GTalk, i check if u r there or not. I think I'll tell u so many things if u r there.
SS:	:) nice. I look forward for u to come online too :) Tell no. shall I call?

[ Read rest of the chat script in the upcoming PDF version ]

I didn’t tell her anything as of then. Instead wrote a post about it on my blog. 1st few days, she was unaware of it. Later AM pointed this to her. And when she finally read it, she was all so senti about it.

"I just felt like talking to u after reading it."

Towards the eve, she sent a reply mail. Our 1st mail communication since we moved to Bangalore. She had answered to some of my points and countered some. I was just staring @ the screen for some time. She accepted that she did think that I’m in love with her.

“Yes, I thought something like that only. When I told you about my engagement you didn't even ask me any question as though it doesn't matter to you!”

And she had tried to assure me that

“We will always be in touch. I will call you from there. I am always there to listen to you”.

I couldn't reply to it in time due to the disconnection of gmail. was that for good? 'coz she called me up @ 2030hrs and again @ 2100 hrs. she was answering the mail again and was saying "I love him and he loves me more"... and so on. And I didn't feel that bad about it. Talked to her for about 22 mins, most of the time just listening. At the end of it, I was really so happy for her, she made me all smiles.
To be Continued. Read rest of the series here

Our friendship was no less than a Bollywood flick either. It all started a year ago, during my 4th n final year in College. Can you believe that..? All these years we've been studying under same roof and not known each other...!! Well, technically there are couple of mistakes in the last sentence. My class was on 2F - 2nd floor while her was on GF - ground floor. So, technically not under the same roof. ;) And although she didn't know me, I was aware of this chasmis [not the Einstein, but Naina kind] bubbly gal. Had seen her here n there in campus and known her name through friends in her class. But never talked to her or saw her more than a few secs. She was always mobile.

We first struck up @ Orkut. A few scrap exchanges and I had shifted to Bangalore, as the college term was over. Those were some awful days. Sowmya was getting married and I was struggling in Bangalore to get a job. Only thing that was like breeze of fresh air back then was SS.

My 1st letter to her was on 29th June when I was back in shimoga to wrap up some pending formalities. Now I'm not a Subodh of Dil Chahta Hai who keeps clinging to his calender. I can point the date 'coz I just went through my saved mails and saw that. So, I was saying ke our bonding took time. I had asked her

"Hi Sweetu, Can I call u by that name; it's chhhooo chhweeeet"

to which she had replied

"Don't call me by Sweetu. I can't give you such leniency :p".

[Auw my Gaud....!!!!]. My flatmate Shekhar was her batch-mate and I guess she had this impression that I was like him only. well, that was then. Now I call her Shona and she's all sport for it.

Ok, back to some flash back. She was apprehensive at the start, as usual. She used to get alarmed too often. When I had asked

"Your cell no. is same or changed?"

she had replied

"I never remember having given you my cell number".

Hey, I wasn't tricking her into giving me her number. I really already had her number. And even today she doesn't know how. :D

Anyways, she was helping me to get over my grief for Sowmya and also assisting me in my job hunt. She still hadn't told me her nickname, so I coined 'Tube Light' for her. She used to fathom things a bit slowly. Once I wrote a mail to her in which I was sounding like a poster praising itself boasting of my achievements in college. She got it all wrong and wrote me a long consoling mail, describing her long struggle for job. Well, that was so cute of her. It did make me forget my worries and as a bonus, I got to know more 'bout her.

It wasn't all smooth sailing though. There was a time when it felt like downpour. One day she SMSed me about a guy who's disturbing her too much.

"He keeps msging me and tells me even trivial things. Acts like a chipku. I can see he's trying to get close which I'm not liking."

That was the biggest shocker for me. All that she described somehow matched me. Though she kept saying "it's someone else", I had this intuition that she was referring to me - subtle indication - and was immensely disheartened to realize that she thinks of me that way. I stopped communicating with her altogether.

She, possibly unaware of what she had done to me, continued with her usual dose of SMSs and calls. And before long, it was impossible to remain angry with this innocent barbie. So we were back in talking terms. She kept asking me for a coffee meet. But I kept dodging her. Finally one day I agreed to take her to the movie KANK next weekend. That was supposed to be our 1st meet. All these months of knowing each other, we haven't met for a single second. So obviously I was excited. But a couple of days later, she wasn't so sure about going with 'just me' to movie. She said with an air of uncertainty that her family might keep her busy that weekend. And on Wednesday, she proposed to go for the movie along with her office gang. Such a turn off. I declined it outright.

Our first meet was thus delayed by a couple of months. It eventually happened on 1st week of Jan '07. My B'day - 7th Jan. It just gets better every year. This years was the best ever. For once, I was out of college, so didn't have to hide my B'day from others fearing B'day bums. Secondly, I had my money in my hands, so that I can celebrate my B'day the way I want - take friends to movie, throw party n stuff. That morning, I asked SS to join me for a movie @ Inox and she readily agreed. Another round of excitement. Meeting her for the 1st time, at last, that too on my B'day. That day was gonna be the best. When I saw her @ the entrance of Garuda Mall, waiting for me, I felt elated and for a moment it felt like as if some dream has come true. But, as usual with me, nothing went as planned. I had roped in two more friends of mine in this treat [ what d hell was i thinkin ...!! ], She was kind of displeased but didn't show it. All shows @ Inox were houseful, so we had to go for Rex. After that, instead of McDonald, went for CCD which was also packed. So had to settle for a Nescafe', where she found a leftover chewing gum stuck to her jeans. Brigade was too crowded to have a nice walk. When it was time to leave, I didn't drop her back to her home, which I could've. All in all, the day was different than what I thought of it. But still, The Best. 'Coz that was the only day that I spent time with her, face to face. We never met again. Within a week of our 1st & last meet, it has somehow dawned upon me.

Nonetheless, the following day - 8th Jan was no less dramatic. That was the most memorable chat session we ever had. When I look back at the chat script of that day and compare it with the reality of today, I wonder how much everything have changed. That day she had said

"I don't want arranged marriage. I'm tired of faking it all to impress my parents."

She was venting her anger against the rusty tradition with so much flare, and at times with childlike tantrums. In her angry mood too, she sounded so cute; and I felt like as if I was mending a sobbing kid demanding somethin. I was terribly worried 'bout her anyway. This kid, being forced to get married; just couldn't digest it. In few moments I was flaring up. Now I was venting my frustration against the age old traditions, arranged meets nd marriages and the 'Oh so HOLLY SAMAAZ'. Seeing me outburst, she kind of subdued and was just giving one linear comments after my 'pageful lecture'.

"Wow! u know elders so well.
I like ur view on this
exactly tht happened with me. u r very right
u will be a good parent for sure wow u understand parents so well!

So, gals - if U are looking for a 'good father' quality in your life partner, U know U've found one. :) SS can give U a certificate of that.

So, gals - if U are looking for a 'good father' quality in your life partner, U know U've found one.

After the debacle of her first arranged thingy, she was madly looking to find a guy of her liking. Some guy proposed to her, some butterfly naturalist sent her a letter, and there was some guy from orkut who had FWDed his proposal through his friend and she was considering it. Was she despo or what...!! I guess I shouldn't have said that to her. She lost her cool and told me

gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. [with exact that many 'o's. ] i don wanna talk to u for a while.

That was the 1st time she almost made me feel like crying. Almost, 'coz I was in office @ that time, and can't actually cry. God gracious.

Anyway, she did try to mend the damage. Pinged me after lunch time. But still wasn't herself. Our convo was lacking its warmth. So I said

Environ is hot here. guess AC is not working properly. ping me wen u want. c ya

The following day we were fighting about how we could say such things to each other. Strings of I guess, U don't understand me. followed. And then suddenly she was like

"we r fighting! omg! I'm fighting with someone after a long time."

What....!! She was chirping. It felt so kiddish. Whatever, fighting sometimes is good I guess, 'coz now none of us was angry on the other one.
To be Continued. Read part-2 here
This series is now available in PDF format. Check this post.