Hi there. posting here after a long long time. been so badly busy in recent times, that didn't even get enough time to pursue something that used to be my passion.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing at d middle of the night, that too on my cell's GPRS, is that I need to let my emotions out right now, or else it might just consume me.

For the past 2hrs, I've been listening to some 20 month old recordings of my pre-commitment phone calls with my GF. I smiled at all the little jokes she cracked, lived all those happy moments once again. She used to giggle so frequently back then; something that was like breath of fresh air for me, something that's been missing in last 7-8 months. I almost forgot the sound of her laugh. I always wanted to make her laugh, keep her happy, even if it was at my expense. But I did just one mistake and things were never d same. she changed so much that I don't even recognize her anymore. I just wish that things weren't the way they r right now, that i could take it all back, make it all right. but i guess that's not meant to be. I have to live with this; my 1st relationship - smothered to death. :'(