Mini:	hi again! the other day I just read what u had to say abt girls liking spoilt guys.. and like the rest of my girl community..I too had a few thoughts abt it..
Me:	k. So, what's your take on it?
Mini:	well..there is a reason y girls like such guys.. it's not because they see their future life partners in such guys.
Me:	I never said gals marry such guys. When it comes marriage - 'Nice Rich Guys' are still the favorite. 'Bad Guys' are kool for dating.
Mini:	u see, most girls will not accept it.. but more often than not we r always trying to impress the opposite sex.. and bad guys kind of are a challenge.. its like..if I can make this guy fall for me..or steal this guy away.. then I can make any guy fall for me.. kind of attitude..
Me:	Wow, that point didn't occur to me. :#
Mini:	u see..girls also kind of use the "kool" guy to boost their own self esteem we all like to feel good abt ourselves right..? :$ and when this guy walks away..the opposite happens.. the moral goes down.. and then the desperation is not exactly to win back the guy.. but to win back the lost self esteem.. u see it is not abt the guy or how cool he is.. usually girls never like such guys.... its all to do with pleasing their own ego.. so girls actually dont care abt such guys.. they just look at it as an opportunity to judge their worth with the opposite sex.. I hope I am making sense here..
Me:	Well, that's certainly one large chunk of gals' attitude. But I do know lotsa gals who fell for all wrong guys, though several nice guys were ready to die for them.
Mini:	there are exceptions.. but more or less..somewhere deep within most girls have this desire to find out how good or how bad they are at getting a guy who is difficult to get.. well..u dont get it.. the girl hasnt exactly fallen for this guy.. she is just testing her worth with him.. do I make sense?
Me:	I guess both guys n gals like to indulge in something that is hard to get.
Mini:	yes..that is human nature u see..
Me:	I got your point. But that's not universal. Those were actually in love with them. Crying in loneliness, wrist slicing - I've seen them doing these.
Mini:	thats what u think..but trust me..u r far from the truth its all to do with coping with thier lost self esteem ..their ego.. they loose their personal worth when they dont manage to get what they want.. its not specific to this guy.. look at it as a job left undone.. failure in a particular project that was critical to the client and u being responsible for it.. wouldnt u bury ur head in shame..its the same case. they dont slice their wrist for the guy..they slice it for themselves.
Me:	wow, :o u talk 'Uber Kool'. U argue well.
Mini:	I am not arguing.. I am just letting u see things in a different perspective.. else u would never understand girls ;-)
Me:	by argument - I didn't mean two people up in arms against each other argument as in - knowledge imparting.
Mini:	and u know what..its not that girls fall for money.. for them money is just as important as it is for any guy..or any human being.. but some relate money to success.. if u are able to earn a decent living u have discipline in life.. u r worth trusting.. then u r a safe guy to date.. but if u r not worried abt ur future..and dont care abt a job..and would rather live in rags.. then how would a girl think of a future with u.. its not abt money..its about security
Me:	What kind of logic is that ---? Rich guys are Disciplined, trust worthy, safe.?
Mini:	Yes
Me:	Aren't rich guys spoilt, arrogant and use gals as toys?
Mini:	safe as in..they can think of some future in the relationship I think that point i made it clear previously..
Me:	Future as in 'Holiday in Switzerland' future?
Mini:	future as in a comfortable living .. not a holiday in Switzerland..but atleast a trip to Goa. maybe manali..once a yr..
Me:	My point is 'The 1st thing that a gal looks for while dating or marrying a guy is - MONEY' How much does he earn? Will he be able to give me all heavenly comforts?
Mini:	well... :p ..again u r wrong boss.. first thing they look for is some basic compatibility..then they look for the money.. as in money relates to how successful the person is on his own.. if he has a full time job..is educated enuf.. then why not go for the guy..
Me:	compatibility - who cares? not gals. all they see is money.
Mini:	money relates to stability..not materialistic pleasures.. :D :D :D .. u will be surprised to know the truth..
Me:	how else do one explain awesome beautiful gals hanging out with total fat-ass rich dorks?
Mini:	I told u right.. it boosts their self esteem.. to make a rich guy fall for her.. then she is sure that she can get the guy she wants.. she gets confidence.. the girl is usually not at all interested in the guy
Me:	Forget dating. I'm talking about marrige here.
Mini:	marriage ..again..itd a very crucial thing.. many people get married for different reasons... usually its the guys who marry for money (dowry) so dont blame the girl for choosing a rich guy if her dad is willing to pay to buy her a hubby..why not she go for the richest one
Me:	I think dowry is no longer existing in our society. even if it is, it's gonna be wiped out soon. but, gals n family hunting for the lion is not gonna end ever.
Mini:	well.again u think wrong.. One of my colleagues..k=just got engaged... and the engagement was sealed with her dad paying 2 lakhs in advance.. now she is a well earning s/w engineer.. i am talking abt people who have education and who know dowry is punishable by law so when a girls family is paying so much..they surely want a the richest buy they can get everyone wants a good deal right? dont u like it if u get a good deal in a discount sale..?? its the same case with the marriage market
Me:	well, what can I say to that except they are blots on the face of humanity.
Mini:	well..u will be surprised to know.. that 70% of the educated clan in our present society belong to this community.. I read that in some survey conducted recently..by a women NGO out here in Bangalore so if girls do go for rich guys..the society has a lot to blame for it..
Me:	different surveys say different things. I don't give them a damn. So, do U think gals are making a deal when they marry and there's no real emotions like love involved?
! - 5 minutes' silence - !
Mini:	in an arranged marriage ..its just a deal..more often than not..love comes in a lot later.. and its not just girls who are involved in it right..so r the guys.. they too want the best deal. they are willing to sell themselves in the highest market.. its the girl and her family who has to make compromises..
Me:	Well, I don't think that guys of today's age take part in this trade willingly. They just don't dare to oppose their parents who are of old mentality and ask for dowry
Mini:	Since I am a girl and have seen many of my educated friends finding it hard to find an arranged match.. I know it is true. I have seen it happen..not once ..not twice..but all the time..
Me:	what .... guy asking a gal - how much do u earn?
Mini:	nope..its even worse... what they indirectly ask is.. how much is ur family willing to pay for me as a son in law?
Me:	It's actually - "How much are u willing to pay to get my son as Son in law?" it's dealt between parents.
Mini:	that is even worse.. u dont do the deal on ur own.. u make ur parents as middle men.. and give them commission on it.. and then say things like u want companionship.. i personally believe that most guys are hypocrites.. they laugh at others selling themselves in the marriage market.. and do the same when their turn comes
Me:	NO - u r missing the point. Guys like me at least loath this ugly tradition as much as the gal does. It's like standing in mid market, with a price tag attached to ourselves, and people bidding on us.
Mini:	yeah so u see... dont blame the girls who look for maoney..guys are no different.. its again not to do with girls alone.. its general human mentality
Me:	I'm saying "GUYS TODAY DON'T LIKE IT". It's the parents who are indulging in it.
Mini:	guys who say so are hypocrites.. no one including parents can sell u off without ur consent once u r an adult
Me:	then I must say U don't understand what 'being in a family' means?
Mini:	and usually in case of girls as well.. its the family who goes searching for the rich guy.. it is imbibed into them from childhood itself.. so again..it is not gender specific..its specific to the entire human race the family pressure is more for girls than the guys.. often girls find themselves in compromising positions,, and are helpless.. need to do things for the family well..I think I should break the gender war here..
Me:	Ok, sure. It's hotting up unnecessarily.
Mini:	just want to say that, instead of closing ur mind towards the female community, try to open up and think of things from their perspective.. it will give u very good insights on why they act the way they do and sorry if I was :@ rude..

Wow. :o . What a roller coaster ride it has been. The chat script above is just an excerpt. We discussed this for almost couple of hours. Later on, our convo revolved around another major issue in today's social life. Maybe I'll write about it next week. It felt nice to converse with someone who's this much composed and clear headed. That's the power of blogs. U get to experience different views, that might change your outlook. What started as discussion on College Romance - gradually engulfed marriage, dowry, society and what not? Great talking to her. Well, she didn't leave any contact info and said "I'll talk to u here". That way, she can contact me whenever she wants but not the other way around. Not fare. :(

Guess I'll get lot more reaction from several others in the coming days. Looking forward to it.

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